🔵 By Tyreall DuBoe. Photo by lauragrafie.
The first brick went into the wall when I was 10 years old. My stepfather would tie me up, beat me, and on occasion, he burned me with an iron. Since that day, I started building a wall to protect myself from being hurt. My stepfather taught me I was safer in the streets than I was at home. In the streets, I could fight back and escape consequences.
For years, I spent my childhood in group homes and lockdown placements away from my family. I was broken and I was lost. I didn’t let anyone in or allow them to hurt me. Doing this kept me from building anything close to a real and meaningful relationship.
With women, in the beginning, I was looking for love, but didn’t know what love was. But once I got hurt, my way of getting revenge was just telling myself I didn’t need them; I could take care of myself. I’ll be honest, some of the wall is still up. I’m not ready to take it all the way down. My biggest dream has been to meet a woman to whom I could begin a plural relationship with and to start a business with her. I want to have deep trust, intimacy, and security, and that’s going to take more work. I’m committed to tearing down more of the wall so that I open up and achieve the goals.