🔵 By Weston Langwell. Photo by lauragrafie.
If you are a woman taking some time out of your beautiful day I’d like you to take a moment to give yourself a pat on the back, and hold your head up a little higher for just being who you are: A woman, bold and powerful! Now men… Yes I am one but coming to prison I’ve learned a lot. And the male population needs to shut its mouth, put their tongues in their mouths and SLOW DOWN!
Now I know you are wondering what on earth I’m talking about. Well being a pansexual nongenderconforming male – yes that contradiction works for me, genetically I am male, am a breeder but also vers, with long hair I like to get braided, and can’t wait to get my nails painted for the first time when I get out – in prison I have begun to see from first hand experience the difficulties and unneeded stresses men put on women and others with their endless sexual harassment. I would always hear of the problem before scoff at men for acting like pigs and make my conscious decision to be different in how I engage with women. But now I kinda understand your struggles: from the endless comments that can cause an eye roll to a downright gag, but somehow firing back your own rebuttal only backfires and just gets the pig grunting even more so you just walk off with your head held high ignoring the insectile comments for what he’s worth. But even doing that only do we feel dirty and grimy and that our dignity has been tainted by not giving him the satisfaction of acknowledgment? Oh ya, it’s because his eyes are still undressing us from behind, still staring at our asses while mentally broadcasting his desires as if with a megaphone so we feel the effects of his creep filled lust leeching its way into our souls. Men if you haven’t figured out yet there is a way to speak too and flirt with members of the attracting sex and that is not it. So if you keep making your comments or opening with a cut all and continuously get ignored it’s time to rethink your approach and the esteem you hold your EQUAL counterpart too.
Now this part is my opinion I feel as a truth. Let’s talk equality for a minute. Men stop calling women the b word! Imma say well write it one time for those too dense to know what word I’m referring to: bitch. Now guess I challenge you to delete this word from your vocabulary. That word is not a term of endearment but of possessive demeaning. If you call your woman or significant other that YOU DON’T RESPECT HER and do not consider her your equal! Ladies please stop working to be called that you are not a dog whose sole use is to be fucked or bred. When I’m going to make a baby it’s to be with love and mutual commitment. It may get a lot hot, heavy, freaky, possibly nasty but you are to always be respected cherished and loved as an equal. And lets be honest how often do we have sex with the sole intention to reproduce? So please ladies stop thinking it’s acceptable to be called that by anyone that means woman stop calling other women that as well. My Trans people you too. Men just cut it please.
Again this just my opinion but I think as a society we would be much better off without constantly putting each other down and thinking one gender was superior than another.
– Random life moment on my Mp3 right now is “One Man Can Change The World”; Big Sean + Kanye West. This next part will be tough to write, and will be the first time I’ve told anyone this; but I can only say so much so you might need to read between the lines. To all the survivors out there my heart goes out to you. Everyone of our stories are ours to own and to use to make us stronger. Let me start my saying I’m 180lbs, 5’11” and athletic, I can and have hold my own in a fight. So when something consensual becomes non I know what’s like to be powerless, to not have any choice but to be witness to the events as they happen, or to feel like you have to keep going unable to take back your power, dignity, humility. And afterwards wonder why me? What could I have done to prevent this? What could I have done to regain control, to not be left used and powerless, defeated?
The answer I wrestle with is BITE and bite hard! To bite so hard I would have bitten off. I even had the thought during but I know better, as badly as I wanted to I knew the repercussions from doing that would have been worse than my loss in the moment being that I am where I am. But I will NEVER let my power be taken from me again. Men it is NEVER ok to take what will never belong to you. No matter what you think you will never own that or any woman. Ok I’m getting off my soapbox now, but to all the survivors out there stand together with your heads held high.
So through all this, my as of now 4 years in prison, has taught me this: a better, deeper love and respect for women and a better understanding of some of the struggles y’all face daily. That being said I plan to use this new knowledge to be a better friend, partner, and lover. Prison has changed me, and I hope for the better, and I hope I’m able to show and prove this.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, maybe this can make a difference in someones life or help another. Until next time stay positive and love life in love.