🔵 By Monica McCarrick. Photo by lauragrafie.
I felt drunk on luck
Love-struck
Like a dumb fuck
Dump truck
You were a forbidden thrill
Who fit the bill
Then I overkilled
Til it was over… nil.
Fears of intimacy
Since infancy
Excluded me
Torment exuded from me…
…Over into you
You came down with the flu
You ran from me stuck like glue
Craving long walks in each other’s shoes
Passion beyond all comprehension
Love life suspension
No apprehensions
Got sober drunk on love intentions
Became a heartbroken
Head-fucked love token
Some thought I’d been smokin‘
Thought what we had was real but you were just jokin‘
For your honey I’d gladly get used
Rather be abused
Than feel so confused
With broken soul fused…
…to someone absent
Someone I thought was God-sent
To my own self, must try to be true
Even when existence is so awful and blue
Despite feeling adoration for so very few
Resisting the urge to make you smile
Because if not, in a little while…
…you’ll have me back in tears
Over fears…
…That no one will ever love me for me
Never see…
…my worth
On this Earth
Pains me that I’ll never be
To you who you are to me
Excruciating to see
How you’re so cool with everyone but me
So what can I do?
Keep hoping someday you’ll love me too?
Transfer my feelings to someone new?
Only problem: She wasn’t you
The keeper of my broken heart