🔵 By Alina Click. Photo by lauragrafie.
My head’s a mess.
It be looking like burn holes
on my chest.
I know this but I must confess.
Get it off my chest,
hope for the best.
I can hear the devil knocking.
Hear him getting bored ‘cos he’s yawning,
they say evil never sleeps,
so take a melatonin.
If you fuck up, you better own it.
I can hear the darkness mocking.
Tellin’ me that there’s a special place
to begin my rotting.
Quit sobbin’.
You knew this was coming.
That’s why you took off the other
way running.
So let’s cut to the chase.
Does it always have to be a game?
Will we ever see eye to eye,
instead of toe to toe.
And face to face?
Will there ever be a calming?
Instead every reaction is focus alarming,
completely disarming.
I know on the outside: Look charming,
but I know there’s a monster in you.
Just waiting to flex some harming.
Problems are constantly inter-locking.
There’s always a storm coming.
With you there’s always napalm.
Your breath is a killer vapor.
I can see in your eyes,
you wan to ravage.
I can see now already you
inflict damage.
There’s evil in all your facets.
Trying to take all that I’ve salvaged.
I told you my head is a mess.
I’ve truly regressed.
Caught under the weights of regress.
Gaining momentum at a high descent.
I can see my silhouette
already carved in cement.
Rest me there with stone lament.
With dates that mark the
life that I wrecked.
Embalm and roll me.
I want to feel your lips around me.
I want to feel you breathe me in.
Get underneath you.
Even when I’m not asleep, I dream you.
I’d like to be interwoven with you.
Cigarette smoke, exhale admission.
My mind is plotting the system.
I will not be a victim.
I’ll fight for the right decision.
To change from the life I’ve been living.
I return, I would prefer
that we not converse
until we confirm.
What is affirmed.
That you never deserved
this girl,
this world.
So you have my WORD,
disturbance inferved.
I’m coal to be diamond,
I know I’m reliant,
like hell I’m defiant.
My spiral unrivaled.
I’m metal, hot iron.
Running for the horizons
refuse to be silent,
oppressed in confinement,
with my eyes set skyward.
I told you, my head’s a mess,
But I digress.
I’m not like the rest.