🔵 By Emick Lee. Photo by lauragrafie.
I was told not to think too highly of myself and for years I struggled with this concept mainly because I was taught from an early age to strive, learn, study, work hard, and be persistent at becoming, becoming the best, outpacing, outracing, and staying ahead of everyone else; this mindset set the stage of over or under achievement in every area of my life, to the detriment of the here and now, life’s most precious present moments! The race against my fellow man was born. I no longer saw myself as part of the whole, but as singular, alone, solitary, although sociable, I was not to count being equal as an achievement, or goal. I soon found power and faith in my achievements and lost faith within myself just as fast when I didn’t or wouldn’t reach my goals for any number of reasons. The cycle of respecting or disrespecting myself set in. I soon became my own best friend or worst enemy on any given day.
I also learned to blame others and blame shift along the way to protect my by now fracturing hurting ego. Was this the very cosmic universes way of countering the lie of pride and self reliance? It’s a good argument that the laws of creation always counters the falsehoods mankind thinks into practice. I would soon unlearn all the doctrines of a society that places our universes highest creation on the starting line against one another from birth. From as early on as the picking of the best name as if one is really, truly better than any other. I’ve come around to believing that mankind should not think too highly of self after all from dust we came from and to dust we return.