🔵 By Enoch Jackson. Photo by lauragrafie.
For many years, I had put my family and myself through a lot of unnecessary heartache and pain. This was before I was able to harness the wisdom of knowing that holding myself accountable for all of my actions and decisions in life came with great reward. I found that when I started connecting the cause and effect to each outcome and experience I had ever faced in life a truth was being revealed.
When I entered into IDOC almost 10 years ago, this truth was not something I was ready to face. Back then, I was not mentally available to comprehend nor accept this truth. What is this truth? The truth is I am the builder and destroyer of all wins and loses in my life. The truth is I have the ability, power and authority of turning every loss into a win by the way I choose to respond to each one of them. You may know the adage,”it’s not about how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get up.”
Before my incarceration I used to live life on autopilot. There was no real effort in trying to accomplish much because the lens in which I viewed life was mired in deceit, low self-esteem, alcoholism, immaturity, ignorance, and every other life debilitating habit you can think of. Back then, you could not convince me that I was the problem. Why? That was because I was the king of finding every excuse possible to blame everybody else for my failures and problems. I blamed my parents and family. I blamed my community and peers. I blamed my race and others. I blamed the legislature and teachers. I blamed the elected officials and the police. I blamed the state’s attorney and the judge. I even blamed the jury. Throughout my life, I had managed to blame everyone except the person who was truly responsible for all of my loses…me.
Thankfully, I am now conscious of my decisions and aware that each decision, I make determines the range of choices Ill face next, and depending on how I choose will determine my life experiences. Now, do you understand how I am the builder and destroyer of all the wins and loses in my life? I had to change my mindset and I did so my telling myself the following: “The choices you make today will determine your life tomorrow. Be sure to make moves with purpose and take control of your future. You are totally responsible for where you are and where you are headed in life, so why not build the best parts of you in order to destroy the worst parts.”
It may seem crazy to say, but I am thankful for my 10 years of experience in IDOC. Before coming to prison, I was living a life filled with chaos. Today, I have good-orderly-direction as a result of me cultivating my mind with knowledge and wisdom to gain understanding daily.
While incarcerated, I have earned many certificates, I have been involved with many programs and worked multiple jobs. Every decision I make is with purpose. If success is defined as staying the course to achieve your desired outcome and experiences, I guess, I’m now on the right path.
What’s next for me? I am embarking on the journey of studying for the CDL test. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll own a fleet of semi-trucks. It all beings with a thought, right?
A positive statement propels hope toward a better future, it builds up your faith and that of others, and it promotes change.