🔵 By Steven L. Neugent. Photo by lauragrafie.
This is for extremely busy people.
Instructions: This multiple choice letter is simple, just select one answer that you feel is appropriate, there are no wrong answers.
DEAR _____ DATE _____
#1: I hope you are … (Circle one)
A. Doing well and in good health
B. Getting beat up by your cellie
C. Getting slammed and handcuffed by the officers.
#2: I would have wrote back sooner but…
A. I can’t find my envelopes, paper, and pen.
B. My chihuahua keeps biting the mailman and running him off.
C. I wouldn’t write you if you were the last man on earth!
#3: My finances are…
A. Good. I’m sending money and an e-comm.
B. Poor. Hard to put food on the table. (Thanks Joe!)
C. Bad. Rents overdue, and the lights are off.
#4: My family is…
A. Doing well and in good health.
B. Going to Disneyland this year.
C. Now in a blood feud with the McCoys.
#5: I am going to…
A. Write you again as soon as I get more stamps.
B. Run for election to the school board this year.
C. Catch a ride into space with Elon Musk.
#6: I hope that you…
A. Take care, be safe, and write back soon.
B. Make parole soon and leave the country.
C. Get sucked down the toilet while doing #2.
I love/hate you. (Circle one)
SIGNED _____