🔵 By Shane Espinoza. Photo by lauragrafie.
There are times we take a step forward without feat and other times the fear can stop us in our tracks. The emotions we all feel can consume us. We are not our emotions. We experience them, however we are not them. I’ve heard people say, “I’m an emotional person” or “I’m an angry person,” etc. some use the emotion as an adjective to describe themselves. It’s as if they completely identify with the emotion.
As a person becomes more aware of who they are, they learn to let go of the emotional identity. The burden of carrying that emotional baggage gets thrown off their back and they suddenly feel less burdened and more freedom. Have you experienced an emotion that would not go away? You spent time evaluation it, checked all the reasons you were experiencing it, thought deeply about what it means and yet, it sticks with you? Well then, I must label myself as this “emotional” person. What constitutes this self-perceived truth? If you think about emotions as a set of data points that are informing you of vulnerabilities, interpretations, awarenesses, psychological responses, etc. then you realize they are not actual facts. Think about it for a moment.
Maybe the fear you are facing is really scary, or an accident is waiting to happen or the ground below you is about to open up and swallow you. Maybe what you are confronting is in fact terrifying. What then? How should you respond?
Ask yourself, “what would the effect be if I acted on my emotion?” Is it justified? Maybe. “What will I gt if I act?” “Do I want that?” If fear is invoking you to run, or hide, or freeze, is that actually what you want? Here is a suggestion, know what you want. When you remember it, make a decision that supports it. And when there is fear present, it is imperative to remember this.
Bravery is not the absence of fear, it is the presence of courage. It is taking that step forward, when effective, toward what you want. It is saying, “Hell yes I’m afraid and yes I want to escape, however, I am in this.”
Now, that is not always the right response. Listening with all of your being is the beginning. Then make a decision about what to do. Put one foot forward, then the other. Remember, activity is not the same as action and motion is not the same as movement. Throughout my life I’ve substituted busy-ness for purpose, activity for action and motion for movement. What are you twiddling your life away with? A swarm of activity but no actual fire. Here’s the thing. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed with what’s next and what we must overcome. Oh wait, what it I create an escape hatch that allows my brain to imagine I’m being productive while not really accomplishing the next step at all. What if I substitute Youtube videos about action for actually doing? OR, instead of starting that online business I want, I could do months of internet research, collect data endlessly and still not have enough. We’ve all heard of “Analysis paralysis.”
Instead of making systematic changes in both our lives and at larger levels, we post angry memes, scroll through Twitter, and watch cats on Youtube. Instead of finding and following love, we settle for flings and entanglements, not giving ourselves to the ecstasy and the laundry of real connection.
Instead of a tribe and community, we settle for Facebook groups that check off our affinities, social circles or virtual circles where we remain silent and disengaged. Instead of writing these blog posts or starting that landscape painting that must come forth, we pass the time making posts on social media and taking selfies with our iPhones. Distractions show up. Sometimes we need the distraction. The crisis we are going through is too overwhelming. We are too absorbed, too off-killer. We can’t actually think creatively or problem-solve. We can only be distracted and yes, there is a time and place for that.
Now imagine that this is the moment to take the leap. Now is the moment to take a risk. It’s like the moment before stepping out on the wing of a plane before skydiving. Take a breath and take that step.