🔵 By Shane Espinoza. Photo by lauragrafie.
There are times when I think about my life before prison. I imagine people outside these walls do the same in regards to the pandemic. I remember going full speed and my economy was booming, life was busy and somewhat good, then suddenly, an error in judgment brought everything to a screeching halt. Unable to do what I wanted or to spend time with loved ones, I began seeking a deeper and more meaningful understanding of my life and work.
Once I adjusted to being in prison I turned to creativity for solace and revelation. Since those first initial sketches I have stretched myself creatively. I’ve chosen to write meaningful articles, explore pastel painting and allow my spiritual self to flourish. Along this part of my journey I began to understand the superficiality of past relationships and the depth of my new search for meaning. I have grown as an artist over the years. My writing has gone deeper and my drawings evoke decisive meanings. I explore more and more mediums with which to express myself. I have always been a proponent of change and I embrace it whenever it presents itself.
Life can change in an instant, when we least expect it. Look at all the people effected by the pandemic. They have but a tiny taste of what the loss of freedom feels like. Some embrace it, others fight it and still others become numb to the whole experience. I am amazed by all these people that can’t wait for things to get “back to normal”. All of this has taught me to appreciate today and do my best with what has been given to me. With all of the chaos that is happening around me, I find comfort in my work and creative efforts.
Painting and writing focuses my mind and soothes my soul. I find inspiration in those around me who choose to embrace their own journey. The artists in here are encouraging to one another and will answer questions without giving advice that pushes their own agenda. We are all searching for our own meaning. During these trying times, I have learned to express myself through creativity. Art lifts the spirit and dusts us off after the day is done. It strengthens us, informs us, and sustains us through the good and bad days. I understand this more than ever before.