🔵 By Shane Espinoza. Photo by lauragrafie.
When I was in 7th or 8th grade I had a creative arts class. We learned all sorts of creative techniques. This was my first exposure to ceramic making. I made a set of cartoonish characters that I was very proud of. After they were kilned I painted them. The teacher encouraged us with criticism or judgment. I also learned how to draw on tin, push through it and have a sort of 3-dimensional picture emerge. It was exciting because there was no limit to what we could create. Sadly, I did not continue on that artistic path. Society dictated that I was to work hard and work for a living. I became driven to succeed no matter the cost. I eventually owned two healthcare businesses. As you can imagine there was no time in my busy life to nurture the creative side of my soul.
In 2016 I had enough success and thought I could explore art once more. I started taking lessons to learn how to play the Native American Flute. Oh how I enjoyed playing. My cat would come into the room where I was practicing and just watch me play with his ears perked up. I was starting to rekindle the relationship I once had with the right-side of my brain. Business got the better of me and I made a mistake that sent me to prison in 2017. At first all I was doing was surviving. Then in 2018 I was exposed to graphite drawing. I was not very good at it but I kept studying books and trying. I moved to colored pencils in 2019. As long as I had step-by-step instructions to follow the pictures came out ok. I had to really think about the process. My left brain was still in control. The more books I read the more perfect I thought I would become. At the end of 2019 I discovered pastels and begun to embrace imperfection. It was a challenge yet I was doing it. I am still a work in progress and I am learning to just let the pastels flow. It is much easier said than done.
Art seems to have come full circle. There are so many lessons that I am learning on my journey and art has helped me. There is definitely an awakening that happens when one begins to use creativity and imagination.
Why am I writing about art? Art is a tool that allows us to be imperfect. It allows us to make mistakes. It guides our creative selves and provides true healing. I remember when it was ok to experience life without the constraints of cultural or societal norms. I forgot about imagination. I was so driven that I forgot how to be happy.
My personal journey has been a transformative adventure. I have learned more about myself in the past 5 years than I could have ever imagined. I have a lot of life experience and I want to share the lessons I have learned along the way. I am still learning, growing and evolving. My hope is to inspire others to do what inspired them whether it be art, business or personal growth. I hope to that you may find value in what I share and you go forward to live a good life. I don’t have all the answers, however I do have a lot of questions. There is value in embracing the question. It may help us find our way to that which brings us happiness. I have a plan for the time I have left in prison. I also knew what I will do when I leave this place. By sharing with you I will begin to solidify my focus and hopefully you will gain some clarity in your own life as well.