🔵 By Nelson Harrison. Photo by lauragrafie.
„When I get out I’m not coming back.“
Those are the words you hear everyday from all inmates, those same words are followed by: „I’m going to get a job, settle down maybe even start a family and stay out of trouble.“ The big problem with that is most prisoners have no idea that we are buried In trauma! I can almost guarantee that over 90% of us have PTSD, because of so many years of uncertainty, fears of distrust, betrayal from an unfaithful wife or girlfriend, a back stabbing so called best friend or brother. The hopeless and lonely feeling of thinking you have no future because you now have a felony and no family support. Mentally or financially, there is an enormous amount of pressure every single day from the time I wake until I’m going back to sleep.
One of the biggest topics in America on T.V. right now is mental health, from professional athletes to celebrities everyone is talking of how important it is to work on your mental health it’s almost on every commercial on T.V.. When I see the commercials I lean back in my chair and place my index finger on my temple. Like President Biden use to do, and ask myself what about my mental health? Do I even matter? Does anyone care about the mental health of prisoners? It’s difficult to think about any type of future when I’ve been beaten down battered and oppressed for years.
I guess as long as I walk out of here with a smile on my face. My broken heart and abused mind should stay my secret. Just this year alone the mother of my 2 beautiful daughters died on April 19th, 2021. My little girls are 7 and 10 years old. My daughters cry to me on the phone asking when am I coming to pick them up. This was the hardest and most intense pain I’ve ever felt. Because I can’t get to my daughters. One month later in May 2021 my friend of 30 years died from cancer. Then in June 2021 my appeal was denied even though my lawyer told me I would win it. ON top of all of that I fought daily to stay negative from catching COVID. While living in the center of a hot spot.
There is no-one to talk to about these issues I face, my heart is heavy from being buried In trauma!!