🔵 By Nora Sandoval. Photo by lauragrafie.
As I sit here writing a letter with no destination. Wondering if you will ever hear the words on this letter. I never had the opportunity to tell you, how much you mean to me. Can you hear me from heaven? Or will the wind carry my words away, never to be heard. I can’t believe that you been gone a year today. When you were born, I held you in my arms. I stared at you, what seemed like hours, memorizing everything about you. It broke my heart that I would be leaving to prison soon.
I know that I was gone throughout the years. I missed out on all the moments in your life. All the good times, all the bad times. I sit here full of anger that I let you down. You asked me to help you. You were depressed and had so much pain. Had no desire to be around. I am so mad at myself that I could not hold you and comfort you through all the pain you had to endure all by yourself.
Now you’re gone, I will never be able to hold you or look into your eyes, tell you how much I love you and that you’ll always be my little princess. There is so much I want to tell you, but the most important thing is asking for your forgiveness.
Anna pleas forgive me, for everything you’ve been through in life. Please forgive me for being in prison. Please forgive me for not being the mother you needed. Please forgive me, that you left and we weren’t able to make-up for lost time.
I will never know if you truly forgive me. I will forever carry the pain of not having you. I will forever hold you close to my heart. I will forever cherish all the moments we had together. Just know mommy loves you till my last breath.