🔵 By Shaunbre Jones. Photo by lauragrafie.
I’m smiling but I’m dying on the inside, at times it’s hard to stop myself from crying‘,
I keep telling myself it’ll get better but I’m lyin‘, Allah can you at least see that I’m tryin‘.
Many days have come to me with many complications, nights I’ve been left to question my patience, Lost in my thoughts I keep getting aggravated, my mind playing tricks on me with these conversations.
I want the pain to leave but I’m afraid to die, scriptures come to mind telling me that I’m fine,
Contemplating with my life but can’t commit suicide, five times out the day I find my hands to the sky. Many thoughts have left me wondering why do we leave, everyone keep saying look to Allah and believe, With so much negative in my life Satan keep attacking me, at times I have to ask what am I trying to achieve.
It seems like everyone only taking for a season, watch what they say cause they are so misleading,
They find time to lie without giving you a reason, life is a mystery at times things can be so deceiving.
How can you cope when people keep dragging your name, they keep their hands out always wanting some change, when you finally say no that’s when they complain, you find out the hard way they only cared for the fame.
This time that I’ve been away has made me better, I wasn’t thinking right at first I was afraid of the mirror, you have two people always talking to you beware of the devil, he had a hold of my life until I got it together.
I find myself saying I don’t want to die alone, I refuse to let Satan take over my soul, I’ll never allow him to take me out of my zone, I’ve already had a rough life with my mom gone.
Everyday that I wake up I think about my mission, to see my grandparents again and finally raise my children, Put memories in their life that mines was missing, form a bond with them that they’ll never forget it.
I had to get my mind right and get back on track, learn from my mistakes and try to never fall back, Life is too short to be last in your past, one day you’re here the next you’re gone just like that. You never know when your time will come, why wait for tomorrow to try to clean it up, It took for me to come to prison to learn to love, finally care for the ones here and forget the ones who was.
On this last line I have something very important to say, cherish your life cause at any second it can be taken away, Tend to your responsibilities and learn to stay out of the way, don’t think too far ahead only live for today…